(In this four part series, we will follow the thoughts of a woman who is forced to reflect on her past relationships to learn something. It is narrated from her point of view.)
When I think back to times like elementary school, Junior high, hell even high school....and all the boys/men that have entered in and out of my life in different dynamics, I think about two things, why these men? Are there any patterns?
PUPPY LOVE.....
I think way back to fourth grade and my first two crushes -puppy love, if you will. They were two best friends that I refer to as Dawson and Pacey. I kind of chuckle to myself thinking about it because knowing myself now, and seeing all my past situations, the irony and hillarity and petty anguish of being "in love" with two boys that happen to be best friends is in a note. ..hysterical. And back in fourth grade, relationships themselves were somewhat of a joke. We used to pass notes with a box where you could check yes or no, maybe share a seesaw or go down the slide together. Be eachother's partners jumping rope. Dawson and Pacey had the whole gentlemen thing down at an early age. I remember they would both bring me in a flower they had picked from their neghbor's garden from time to time and I, being me...panicked and shoved them in the back of my desk to rot. I bet you could imagine the grossness on clean out your desk day. I would jump back and forth to dating one from the other. Its like I wanted to be with them both. Oh how I only wish I realized how easy it was back then. Now the complexity of not just relationships, but guys alone is ridiculous. In my adult life, I realize that I cannot figure them out still to this day.
Junior high was an interesting time for dating. Here it was not only gaining the affection of a cute boy in Social Studies class, but it was also gaining the affection/jealousy of the girls- the cliques and the popularity of junior high....what a ride. Its almost as if in junior high, if you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you were cooler. And Junior high relationships lasted for maybe a period or two, maybe a week, and if lucky, longer. My first real boyfriend in Junior high, I will call him Boyband, was a total dreamboat. He was smart, cute, funny, and had the best dimples, he was also a muscician, I forget if it was initially trumpet or some other brass that he played in band class with me. I remember he actually passed me a note about calling him and on the bottom wrote "hang up if anyone but me answers", sadly, me being a stupid girl broke up with him eventually in the hallway through a friend. And to top it off, Boyband had a presentation the very next class where my assigned seat was the front row. Poor guy. Luckily for him he grew up to be even more cuter and smarter and proved to be quite the catch. Boyband and I dated for 2.5 months. This was big back then, and I threw it all away.
My other mentionable Junior high relationship was with a boy I call "Charmer", I call him Charmer because he had these charming gray eyes, and he was pretty advanced when it came to Junior high dating. Let me remind you that unlike now in "adult" life, when you were in junior high it was acceptable to "trade" boyfriends and girlfriends, date one of your friends former flings (hey it was only a two class fling right?), and set up your friends with your former flings. So with that being said, Charmer had dated a lot of my friends at the time. He was the first boy I went on a real live date with. Except it was one of those group dates...."I'll bring a friend and you bring a friend" and you get dropped off at the mall to see a movie you dont really want to see, all in order to sit there next to eachother out in a dark room with no real chaperones. Charmer was a sweet talker, but the fact that my friends had all dated him grew weary on me and I never looked back or regretted our harboring break up.
What I learned from myself looking back on these Puppy love relationships now in my adult life, I see that I was a sucker for boys with nice smiles and dimples, I liked the thrill of dating (dangerously) best friends, and I guess in retrospect I was kind of selfish. The foreshadowing of these expiriences for what was about to come was probably unavoidable, but I was too infatuated with moving onto the next that I didnt take the time to think about what I had learned from any of them, what I took from the break up or relationship. It was puppy love, and I was a giddy girl. Besides, High school was next with a whole new pond of fishies for me to play with.....
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